Endometrial Biopsy - Done!

It's been 24 hours since my biopsy and only now can I say I survived and write about it.  This was one procedure I don't ever want to go thru again.  


Please note this entry contains graphic language so be forewarned.


I arrived at the ER clinic at 1:15pm ready to get the procedure done and over with.  The waiting room was empty and for once, I didn't have to feel the awkwardness of being there.  Soon after I arrived the women started pouring in.  I was glad with the nurse called my name, "Melissa, we're ready for you".  Great!! Just what I wanted to hear.  I was escorted to the room and was told to undress from the waist down.  Dammit!!! I wore a dress today which meant I'd have to get all the way undressed (which was an awkward feeling considering my RE is a male).   I waited for what seemed like an eternity and it was during this wait that my nerves finally set in.  I realized I should use the bathroom before the procedure so I redressed, opened the door and asked the nurse that walked by where the bathroom was.  I quickly scurried to the bathroom that was all the way at the end of the hallway and to the right.  While in the bathroom, I noticed there were Playboy magazines neatly tucked in a magazine organizer on the wall and a chair sat in the corner.  It took a minute for it to register with me, but this was the bathroom that the men usually use to provide their "sample". Gross!!! I quickly did what I had to do and left the bathroom being careful not to touch a thing.  I'm sure a blacklight in here could be a featured special on NBC Dateline special about RE clinics.


Once back in the room, I got undressed (again) and waited patiently.  I could hear the doctor talking to the nurses on the outside and my hands started to sweat.  What was taking them so long?  Don't they know how hard it is to wait?  A couple of minutes later, the doctor and nurses (two) came in.  Dr. G was jovial as usual.  He started talking about my progesterone levels...."wait, I didn't give any blood today" I exclaimed.  "Oh I must have you mixed-up with someone else" he responded.  WTF!!!!  Now I realize doctor's aren't perfect but come TF on!! At least know that I haven't given a blood sample before you start talking about the results.  I think he felt a little embarrassed because he quickly called for a nurse to come draw my blood.  "I'm sorry Mrs. Lee" he added.  "We'll get this all sorted out now". 


So after this drama, he finally prepped me for the procedure.  Two nurses were in the room.  One that would be passing him the instruments the other who would be comforting me.  Fantastic!!! This is going to be so painful I'm going to need someone to hold my hand, soothe me and wipe away my tears.


The procedure started off as usual with the doctor explaining what he was doing and how I may feel this or that.  When it finally came to the point when he was to clamp the instrument to my insides (before the extraction) he told to me cough.  He obviously did this to distract me from the pain.  It worked...a little.  I still felt the sting of something that was not right within.  But it was tolerable.  A couple of minutes later he said something to the effect of..."ok, now comes the main event".  This is when he was going to suction my lining out (think plunger).  The nurse grabbed my hand and was coaching me, "you're doing great", "we're almost done".  At that point, I remember saying, "f@!k, what have a signed up for"?


Like the SHG procedure I had a couple of months ago, the doctor was having some trouble getting the instruments to work.  My cervix wouldn't stay open so the instruments were sliding out...or something like that.  I just braced myself as a felt pulling and tugging and intense cramping.  At some point he finally got things to work and he said "here we go".  At this point, I felt things couldn't possibly get worse but then....OUCH!! OUCH!!! OOOUUCCCHHH!! I experienced the most intense cramps I've ever felt.  I didn't scream but I held on the nurses fingers tightly and moaned silently.  I could feel a tear welling up in my left eye.  Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, the doctor said "we're done".  "That's a big piece!" the nurse said.  Just the words I wanted to hear.


Once the procedure was over I laid on the bed, "recovering".  My instructions are to call the doctor next week to discuss the results of the biopsy.  I was told not to get up to fast and take as much time as I needed to recuperate.  I laid for all of 3 minutes.  I was ready to go.  I'd already decided that I was going to treat myself at Pei Wei afterwards and enjoy a quiet afternoon.